Hope For the Mediocre Mom
I am, by nature, pretty mediocre. I am a middle child. I am was an average “B” student. I have as many failures as I do successes. I am an introvert that can fake being an extrovert. I come in right under the radar on just about everything, I just do. There is nothing extraordinary or out of the ordinary about me. I am not sad about it, I am not fishing for compliments, it is just who I am. I am okay with it. Sometimes I wish I was better, but then I just feel thankful that I am not worse.
I feel safe this way. I don’t like change, and I don’t like to stray from this middle ground because it’s comfortable here. I don’t want to disappoint myself or anyone else. Putting a high expectation on me is a sure-fire way to get me to completely freeze up. I realize it is not a great quality to have. I am not bragging. I really didn’t recognize it in myself until I had children and realized some of them had curiously inherited this trait and it was totally annoying!
Nothing is more irritating than a self-motivated procrastinator.
I don’t seek attention, compliments, or accolades. I hate to be the center of attention. But, the one place I wish I could be above average is as a mom. This is the area I see my shortcomings so clearly and I worry and fret that I am not enough. I see the 4 blessings before me and I wish I could be better.
I scroll through Pinterest and see the crafty moms, the spectacular birthday parties, the perfectly organized and decorated bedrooms and wish I could claim them as mine. I am around other home school families and hear their 6-yr-old speak Russian while they tell me about their award-winning curriculum that they have been doing consistently every single day, even through the summer, for seven years straight, and my heart sinks.
I have these incredible, smart, kind, funny, well-behaved kids. God has blessed me. But, seriously, they came this way. It is not because of my excellent parenting, consistent discipline, whole-food, organic, non-gmo recipes, or my stellar God-centered homeschooling. And there are days I think they are this great in spite of me.
My mediocre type “B” personality does not lend to organization, schedules, or consistency.
I have never finished a “read through your Bible in a year” plan.
I sometimes cancel plans so we can stay in our pajamas all day.
I cannot seem to settle on a math curriculum (our collection of ½ completed workbooks is astounding.)
My 5-year-old is the boss of me.
And as long as I am making confessions…we only buy double-stuff Oreos.
These holes and spaces in my parenting, these are the places that God’s grace comes in. He fills in the gaps. When I bring him my empty spaces and show him where I am lacking he comes in and makes them whole. I can rest in his goodness and his faithfulness. I am so thankful my kid’s future is not dependent on me. I can trust him with their hearts and minds. What I see as failures he sees as opportunities. Empty baskets are filled to overflowing and feed the masses.
Jesus has always stepped in for me and made things right. That’s what he does.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ may rest on me.
Enter His Rest,